Wow!! Have not written on this blog in a LONG time 2 1/2 yrs! When I read what I had written back then I am amazed at how different I am now. I am 9 lbs. lighter than the last time I blogged, which is a wonderful thing, but more importantly I have started living my life to serve the Lord. People tell me all the time how "good" I look. Yes, I have lost weight but not an incredible amount, my hair is different, but not drastically, the only REAL change has been my commitment to serve the Lord and to allow Him to be the leader of my life. There is a peace that comes with doing that. Dont get me wrong, I have always suffered from anxiety and I still do, it is a daily struggle, but now I lean on Him and not any medications. The peace I speak of doesnt mean I wont have problems, anxiety or just be plain old mean sometimes, it is a peace inside that lets me know that He is with me.....always. When I try to tell people what the real change in me is they look at me funny.....most people arent ready to hear about "that". I do hope that one day I will tell someone and they will say, Wow! I want that for me! or that they will just think about what I have said and that at some point, they too, will want Jesus to be the Lord of their life.

Friday edition

I havent posted in awhile, again, I am not real consistant with this blog!LOL Today I did my measurements and am very happy I have lost a total of 11 3/4 inches between my legs, arms, hips and waist!! Yesterday I went to the family dr for my physical and to review blood work that I had done. It was a very good visit!! My weight was 142, down 6lbs. The dr laughed because I have refused to have my weight checked at his office for over 2 yrs! I never wanted to know what their scale said,now I LOVE to get weighed. My total cholesterol is down my HDL and triglicerides are in the normal range, which for me is AWESOME! I attribute those good numbers to the fine grade of fish oil I take daily, the exercise and watching what I eat. My LDL and my total cholesterol still need to come down further. I have something natural to take for the LDL so I am going to take it faithfully for the next 3 mths then I am to get my blood done again. I also have a urinary tract infection which I am taking antibiotics for. I dont like taking them, but I also dont like the terrible feeling of the infection:(

I seem to have gotten into an every other day schedule with the gym. I have plantar fascitis in my left foot so I cant do extreme cardio, like the hr on the treadmill that I like, but I can still ride the bike so that is pretty much the cardio I do. I just do upper or lower body workouts too. This foot problem is NOT going to keep me down or FAT!!! LOL

I have worn a few pants and shirts that I could never wear because ever since I bought them they were too small!! They were the right size but fit WAY to tight!! Now they fit really good!! 1 pair of pants I wore is actually, according to my kids, to big now! I wore them to church and when we came home the kids told me not to wear them again because they wer to big. I was so happy to hear that :) I had Bree take a picture of my one night to post but when I saw the picture I made her delete it. I didnt like the way I looked and was actually embarrassed because I felt like I was doing so good, but felt I looked so heavy in the picture. When I look in the mirror I feel good, when I wear clothes that I couldn't wear I feel great, when I look at a picture I feel fat. I am going to work on this but for now, I am not ready for a whole body shot.

Fun in the snow!!

Today we went sledding and I had a BLAST!!! It is the first time in probably 10yrs that I have done it. Between being pregnant, having a little one, or having an injury I have been the one to stay home. But now, look out, I am the one going down the hill screaming AHHHHHHHH!!!! and laughing!!! LOL Getting out and enjoying all that God has to offer is my new thing. Kevin did hit his head and that really scared me, but he seems to be fine. I had energy that I dont remember having, even as a kid, to keep going back up the hill. Thank you to everyone that was there: Joe, Kimmy, Kevin, Joey, Krystin, Carole, Bill, Alley, Carley, Joe, Debbie, Rick, Carla and Brittany. What a great group of family and wonderful friends, I am so blessed:) I didnt go to the gym today since I knew we were going sledding, I figured that would be an amazing workout, and I think it was, we were out there for 2 straight hours. We will be back tomorrow:) I guess we will know who all got hurt the worst by who cant do it again tomorrow. We had some of the "boys", (the guys who THINK they are boys) all jumping over a hump together and they all ended up with some sort of injury.

Went to the gynecologist Friday for my check up that was 5 mths late! Everything looked and felt good, she said, YEAH!!! Now the GREAT news, I was 8oz lighter than I was on Monday when I got weighed!! I was so happy, I think I was the happiest person at the gyno that day!! LOL I had heavier clothes on than I would ever wear for a weigh in, I had NOT been to the gym since Tues, due to the weather and I had eaten alot more bad food than I should have;) The only down side to the appt was that I am now starting menopause! UGH!!! I thought I was, but she pretty much confirmed it. Boy, do I wish my mom was here so I could talk to her about it. When I was pregnant and couldnt sleep I used to call her because it didnt matter what time it was, she would stay up and talk to me, or when I had anxiety attacks in the middle of the night and Joe was at work, she would be there for me, I think I depended on her more than I ever realized. I really miss her :(

All in all, this snow has taught me that I don't have to be a "snatter", Caroles word she made up, means SNOW HATER. I can love all the seasons and appreciate what each has to offer. I also like learning so much about myself and that I can be open and receptive to changing how I feel about things :) God is good!!!!!

Snowy day, again.

Monday was weigh in. I wasnt sure what to expect, but just decided that whatever it was, it was so just do it. Well, through a bad week physically, but a GREAT week with mental realizations, I lost 1.2 lbs!!! YEAH!!! That to me, is a great week!! I am gradually putting my workouts back to where they were before last week.

Now I have developed a new problem that could stop me today from working out, but I refuse to let it. I had plantar fascitis surgery on my right foot back in June, and I think I may have the same problem now in my left foot, UGH!! Something is definately going on and it is now effecting my achilles tendon. I have an appt tomorrow with an orthopedic surgeon, so I will see what he says. He need not ask me to stop working out because that isnt going to happen! When I called to schedule the appt I was told that the dr that I always see, Dr. Bills, is out on an emergency sick leave. I felt like I was going to cry, he has operated on me 5 times over the course of 15 yrs. and I have so much faith and confidence in him. The office put me in with another dr that Dr. Bills' PA Steve is working with now. I really like Steve too, so I am glad that I will atleast see him. I never have much luck with PT, I seem to always need a surgical fix so I will be very nervous about having to trust another dr to fix me. I am putting this in Gods hands and however he wants this to work out, I will accept.

Today it is snowing AGAIN, so I will not make it to the gym. I think I will do some Just Dance and some shoveling, so that should be good for burning quite a few calories. Carole came over last night and we played Just Dance, I have to admit, I suck!! LOL Carole is really, really good. I have NO rhythm, I think my sisters and my daughters got it all because they are all good dancers. LOL Carole is having a problem with her knee so we couldnt play to long. I would really appreciate it if you guys could please say a prayer or just send good thoughts to Carole that her knee will be ok, she is very stuborn and wont go to the dr, but I dont like to see her suffering.

I made brownies yesterday to take to my sisters for dessert and I ate several, and they were GOOD!!! I made them with applesauce and used the fudge like recipe, so they are really gooey, YUM!! I figure they cant be too awful bad since there is no oil in them.

Everyone have a great day. Becareful in the snow and have fun! We are going to make chocolate chip cookies in a little bit and then maybe play a game. The kids are being really good, but I know they will eventually want to kill each other! LOL
Love to all!!!!!!

Tough realization

Tuesday was one of the toughest days since I started this journey. I had a realization that I could very easily go back to my old way of emotional eating. I had eaten several handfuls of m&ms, some valentine hearts and a value size chocolate shake from BK. I dont just eat when I am sad, emotional eating for me is any and all emotions. When I was laying in bed Tues. night this all hit me and I cryed and prayed because I was scared. Scared that I could so easily go back to my bad habits, scared because I wouldnt live a long, healthy life with my husband and kids. That was a real turning point for me and I believe that God was such a part of it. I ask Him to help me when things get tough, but that was one time I realized that help wasnt all I needed. I need Him to hold me and stay right next to me in my food struggles. With Him I can do better, without Him I will stray :)

I have been paying for my eating mistakes physically. You see, I am allergic to chocolate and as much as I like to eat it, my body does not like when I eat it. So, between the upper body workout I did on Tues. and the chocolate I ate on Tues., I have been in alot of pain. I am hoping that today will be a better day. When I am in physical pain I get very moody. I get sick of hearing myself complain so I dont like to say anything, but I dont feel good.

I am going to go to the gym today, I dont know how much of a workout I will get in, but I will go and see what happens.

Weigh-in Monday

Ok today was weigh in. I only lost a WHOPPING 2 oz!!!! But I lost 2 more inches, so I am really ok with this. I would like to see more on the scale, but losing inches, I think, means I am doing this the right way :) Tomorrow Carole and I are going to change things up with our workouts and start doind the eliptical. In the past I have always tired very quickly on the eliptical, so I will see how it goes. I am planning to rev it up gradually. I never thought I could do an hour on the treadmill at the level I do, so I guess anything is possible :)

Sunday

I went to the gym today a little later in the day than I like to. I decided that I wouldnt go at that time anymore, 10:45am Sun., but I still had an amazing workout. I did 1 hr 15 min on the treadmill for a total of 637 calories burned!!! I did not like how I felt afterward though, so I will not push myself that much anymore. I will stick with the 1 hr, 500 calorie plan. Tomarrow is Monday which means time to weigh in! I am anxious to see how I did this week. I will post how it goes.

Saturday was the banquet at Joe's firehouse. I was very careful all day of what I was eating because I wanted to be able to have more freedom at dinner. I skipped the rolls at dinner, which was very hard for me because I LOVE rolls and butter!! I ate 1 smaller slice of roast beef, 1 slice of pork, red roasted potatoes and green beans. I did have desert and it was DELICIOUS!!! I was proud of myself that I was able to plan for it :)

I have several books that I get inspiration from everyday and one of them is the Dieters Prayer Book. I would like to share a page with you:

You are what you pray:
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. Hebrews 11:1

There's some truth to the old saying "you are what you eat". But you are also what you pray.

Any change on the outside begins on the inside. "As he thinketh in his heart, so is he" (Prov. 23:7, KJV). Because the spirit and physical body are inseparably linked, the role of prayer in transformation can't be over emphasized.

And neither can the role of faith. The apostle James tells us that if we doubt when we pray, we are like a ship tossed about on the sea. And how easy it is to doubt or become frustrated when you've been trying extra hard to eat right and exercise but aren't seeing the results you hoped for.

Today and everyday God is calling you to a life of faith - and to commitment to prayers that ring with certainty. No matter what YOU see happening, God is at work. "So do not throw away your confidence," wrote the author of Hebrews, "it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised" (Heb. 10:35-36).

I believe very much in God's plan for me and for everyone. I also know that prayer is so important in my life and I am happy to incorporate it into my weight loss journey. :)