Tough realization

Tuesday was one of the toughest days since I started this journey. I had a realization that I could very easily go back to my old way of emotional eating. I had eaten several handfuls of m&ms, some valentine hearts and a value size chocolate shake from BK. I dont just eat when I am sad, emotional eating for me is any and all emotions. When I was laying in bed Tues. night this all hit me and I cryed and prayed because I was scared. Scared that I could so easily go back to my bad habits, scared because I wouldnt live a long, healthy life with my husband and kids. That was a real turning point for me and I believe that God was such a part of it. I ask Him to help me when things get tough, but that was one time I realized that help wasnt all I needed. I need Him to hold me and stay right next to me in my food struggles. With Him I can do better, without Him I will stray :)

I have been paying for my eating mistakes physically. You see, I am allergic to chocolate and as much as I like to eat it, my body does not like when I eat it. So, between the upper body workout I did on Tues. and the chocolate I ate on Tues., I have been in alot of pain. I am hoping that today will be a better day. When I am in physical pain I get very moody. I get sick of hearing myself complain so I dont like to say anything, but I dont feel good.

I am going to go to the gym today, I dont know how much of a workout I will get in, but I will go and see what happens.